Haven't been here for a bit. Hope you are reading updates and praises/requests from caringbridge.org (website name: nsn) Today I just would ask for prayer for the emotions that are beginning to overwhelm me at times. The reality of what is ahead is big - and I want to be strong especially for my kids. It is easier to feel strong when you feel well physically, and these ports have set me back in movement and pain and with it has come an emotional struggle. I am thanking God for some devotional thoughts I read this AM on fear. I do have some fears, but I think the emotion comes from feeling loss - of what is ahead, and how I feel robbed of summer and time with my kids that would be normal and fun. I know this is a season in my life - not a permanent thing, but it feels so HUGE at the moment.
Also, please pray for the iv port at my chest to "relax" a bit and heal. The tightness at the moment makes me not relax my shoulders in a normal way so I am feeling tension in my neck and shoulders. I don't want my neck to tighten up and stay that way because when it does, sleep becomes challenging.
thanks. remember to share a prayer request with me so I can be praying for you my friends, as well.
N
4 comments:
Strength comes in many forms. Sometimes it is keeping it all together. Sometimes it is in knowing that it is OK to appear weak.
Remember the poem that you posted at the beginning, about what cancer cannot do. It can and will rob you of many things, but it cannot steal the core of who you are. It cannot rob you of your children and the love that you have for each other. It cannot steal the strength and courage that it inadvertantly gives you. It cannot steal the memories that you have or the ones you make along the way. This summer will be different. You will do different activities with your children and form memories completely unlike those you have formed in summers before. But you will still have the summer. You will still have fun and positive things that you can do with your children. Even in those moments that you are physically weak and in pain, you will be showing your children strength and courage. The will remember your love and the time you spent cuddling with movies, watching them catch lightening bugs while you sat on a chair, or whatever you fill this summer with. Your kids life will never be the same. That is lost. But, they have the privelege of seeing your strength in a way they have never seen before. They have the opportunity to know God more intimately because they will be forced to cry out to Him. They will know His peace and comfort in ways that most adults don't. That is a gift. Because in addition to what cancer cannot do, there are many gifts it gives you.
I am praying for you and I will keep it up. I remember well the hesitation that people showed about sharing prayer requests with me because they felt my burden was too big already. I also remember the peace and comfort I recieved from praying for others and seeing God answer when I wasn't seeming to get answers to my own prayers. So, could you pray for Butterfly and all that her TBI brings into our lives. Pray for healing and for her to be able to learn to control her emotions. Also, I will be bringing another child into our lives this summer. Maybe temporary, maybe not. Pray that we adjust as a family and that I will be to that child what she needs.
Remember that God is holding you. He is not surprised by this. He loves you immeasurably. And I am going to Him many times a day in intercession for you. May He bless you abundantly today with peace and physical comfort.
hi Natalie. I wish I had the right words to say that would make things easier. But all I can think of right now is that it sucks! I know that you want to be strong for everyone, especially your kids. (That's a mom for you!) But know that they will be OK if you can't be stong all of the time. I keep thinking of the verse that God has given me a few times already this week, 2 Corinthians 12:10.
Know that even when I can't find the words of encouragement that I would like to give to you, I am praying for you several times every day. Praying on your and your family's behalf and also praising God for what He has done and what He is going to do.
Love you, Natalie...and your family! ~Carly
You have done so much for others all the years of your life. This is a chance for others to give back to you. I know they will see the grace of the Lord on your face and they will never forget that. When parents are weak it gives the children a chance to be strong. They learn lessons in that mode that they could never learn any other way--lessons of giving back and of servanthood. I know that God will use this is their lives--He already has. Also, there is a special blanket of Holy Spirit love that we can feel around us during times like those. I trust that this will be a special summer for your family in so many ways.
Would there be a "spot massage" that could help your neck and shoulders to keep muscle tension at bay before it sets up residence? Maybe the kids could learn it and that could be a practical way to help you out.
Thank you for these specific requests to lift up. You should be hearing from Ann Shoup soon via a note in the mail. She told me she included her cell phone number and you can call her. She is great!
Our love and prayers go out to you every day, Diana and family
You have done so much for others all the years of your life. This is a chance for others to give back to you. I know they will see the grace of the Lord on your face and they will never forget that. When parents are weak it gives the children a chance to be strong. They learn lessons in that mode that they could never learn any other way--lessons of giving back and of servanthood. I know that God will use this is their lives--He already has. Also, there is a special blanket of Holy Spirit love that we can feel around us during times like those. I trust that this will be a special summer for your family in so many ways.
Would there be a "spot massage" that could help your neck and shoulders to keep muscle tension at bay before it sets up residence? Maybe the kids could learn it and that could be a practical way to help you out.
Thank you for these specific requests to lift up. You should be hearing from Ann Shoup soon via a note in the mail. She told me she included her cell phone number and you can call her. She is great!
Our love and prayers go out to you every day, Diana and family
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